Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary pondering his next idea. "Make the passengers fly the plane to cut back on expensive pilot salaries...brilliant!"
Well Ryanair is in the news again (shocker). The Dublin based low-cost airline, which is run by CEO Michael “I am one idea away from the loony bin” O’Leary, stated late last week that they are dropping any plans to introduce their controversial “fat tax.” Why you ask? Well it really has nothing to do with morals or lack of public interest. According to Ryanair, most passengers were heavily in favor of charging chubby travelers to fly aboard one of its planes.
So then what was the reason that Ryanair changed their mind? Ryanair’s spokesperson stated that, “there is no way to collect it [the passenger's weight] without disrupting its 25-minute turnarounds and its online check-in process.” Yes it was simply too time consuming to figure out how much each passenger weighs as they waddle onto one of their fleet. In addition, the cheap Irish airline stated that even though more than 30,000 Ryanair customers requested a tax on the obese via a survey, they simply had no way to keep track of it with more and more people booking their tickets online.
Okay, so with that little mess out of the way, I guess Ryanair news is over for today.
Wait what? Oh yeah that’s right, O’Looney wants to do away with baggage handlers and have you the paying flyer lug your luggage all the way to the plane. Nothing like a little heavy lifting before boarding a plane ride. The comedic CEO said in a statement, “We would say to passengers … take your own bag down through airport security, leave it at the bottom of the steps, we put it in the hold and on arrival we deliver it to the aircraft steps and you take it with you.”
Ryanair also plans to lay off their entire staff of check-in clerks by October, and in the process save 40 million Euros ($54 million US Dollars) annually. They feel that by cutting pretty much every corner until it becomes one big old messy circle, that customers will continue to see savings when flying with them.
Alrighty…that about wraps up another edition of “What Will O’Looney Think Of Next.”
Wait…wait…one more thing. Mr. O’ also said that Ireland’s number one air carrier Aer Lingus will go out of business within the next two years. Even though the Ryanair CEO is a major shareholder in Aer Lingus and has yet to sell his stock. Hmm. O’Looney said that his airline has made formal complaints to the British Stock Exchange and UK’s Financial Services Authority since Aer Lingus’ chairman Colm Barrington projected his airline would make make a profit in 2009, but now is facing a loss of about 110 million Euros ($150 million US Dollars).
…to be continued.
